When You Were My Mate

1

Demetra.

I am Demetra, the girl whose mother slept with every gamma, beta, and zeta…trying to climb her way up, only to crash-land at the very bottom and leave me here to clean up her mess in the Black Covenant Pack.

As the lowest-ranking omega in the pack house, my glorious destiny is to personally serve one of three sons of Alpha Kael.

Emris.

Emris. Emris. Emris.

My world is the four walls of his penthouse bedroom. I’m the ghost who takes his designer clothes to the laundry. I scrub his desk. I pick up the condoms after he’s done with whatever girl he drags home from the club.

I’m the one who patches up the cuts and bruises from fights he doesn’t want his parents to know about, dabbing at his knuckles while he stares straight through me. I even cut his hair when it gets too long cause he hates when it brushes his shoulders.

And when his famous temper explodes, shattering a lamp or hurling it against the wall, I’m the one on my knees, picking up the pieces. Always on my knees.

Because Emris runs on a fuel of rage.

However, the day I turned eighteen, a mate bond snapped between us during one of my cleaning routines. Me, a nobody, became mated to the first son of the Alpha. The one everyone whispers will inherit everything, because while all two of brothers are hybrids, Emris is the strongest…he is a Trybrid werewolf.

Emris, who has never looked at me twice, suddenly couldn’t stand for me to be out of his sight. Yet, despite his new possessiveness. He warned me never to tell a soul that we were mates.

Afterall, I’m an orphaned omega, a high-school dropout because the pack’s "charity" didn't cover an actual education. My father isn’t some politician or business mogul; he’s probably one of the countless faceless men my mother entertained. I am the pack’s pity project, the girl they “saved,” and my lifelong repayment has been to scrub their floors and make their beds.

He was ashamed of me.

The first time Emris ever truly looked at me was the day the mate bond snapped into place. I remember how his uncovered eye, stared down at me while the other was hidden under the usual black patch. The next time I saw him without that black patch, it revealed his serpent-lined colored eyes as he took my virginity in his bed.

And I love him. Goddess, I love him with my entire soul, a stupid, desperate love that lives in the deepest, most secret part of my heart. I loved him when he made me his dirty secret. I loved him through his coldness and the countless ways he shattered my heart, only to gather the pieces and hand them back to him all over again.

I am the one who watches him sleep. I am the one rocked him back to reality when he woke up from the nightmares of the two years he spent as a kid, locked in an enemy’s pack dungeon. He was broken, far from perfect, but he was everything to me.

“Where you going?” His rough voice makes me stop buttoning my stupid house help uniform. I see my reflection in his floor-length mirror, my doll like white hair is all ruffled from where he fisted his hands in it, arching me against me just minutes ago.

“It’s almost time for breakfast.” I look around his bedroom for my bra.

“Shit.” Emris runs a hand down his face.

I see the forgotten cup of water on his nightstand. The one I brought him last night before he pulled me into his bed and made me forget my own name.

“This what you’re looking for?”

I see my light blue bra dangling from his finger. I march over and reach for it, but he lifts his hand higher.

“I’m already late. Give it.” I hold my palm out and try to sound firm.

He pushes his dark hair back and sits up. The sheets pools around his naked waist. I can’t help the quick swallow in my throat as I take in the hard planes of his ab muscles or his calloused hands that held my waist so tightly I couldn’t escape a thrust.

“Did I say you could leave yet?” Emris’ voice is deceptively soft.

“Keep it, then.” I frown and walk out.

I can’t do this with him today. I hear his low chuckle behind me.

“I don’t like your saltiness. Or is it moodiness? I don’t like your jealousy, either. I have so much to do today, the last thing I want is that attitude from you.”

I do my best not to turn around and look at him. He knows exactly why I’m upset. The whole pack knows. The Alpha of the Mud Claw Pack’s daughter, Elena. Emris’s ex-girlfriend has just moved into the pack house. Luna Derisha is already parading her around, calling her his future Luna. And I’m here. His actual, true mate. His dirty little secret.

“Demetra?”

His tone shifts. It’s becoming a warning.

“Don’t let me have to call you a second time!”

When I turn, he’s out of bed in a loose pair of pants, walking towards the balcony where I’m standing at.

“You know why I’m upset.”

Emris rips off his black eye patch and tosses it aside. He usually covers that eye because his wolf gets agitated, and when it does, he can’t control the change. His left eye burns with a ring of gold, the pupil a terrifying thin slit. It scares people. But then, everything about Emris is designed to be scary. I’m just the idiot who’s in love with him, so I see past it.

“You’re acting like I slept with Elena this morning!”

“Wow.” I let out a scoff that’s designed to hide the hot press of tears in my throat. “So, you want to sleep with her? You can’t wait to have your ex-girlfriend back in your bed?”

“Stop it. Her father is an Alpha. My mom is just securing my claim to the Alpha seat. It’s not personal—”

“We are mates!” I yell and I’ve never yelled at him before.

“You’re an omega.” Emris says it like it’s a disease. “That’s weak for a Trybrid like me. That’s a liability for the Alpha I’m becoming!”

“You sleep with me! You claim me almost every night! But now, suddenly, I’m too weak for you because the Alpha seat is up for grabs?”

In a second, he’s right in front of me. I watch the pupil in his left eye, “the serpent-like one” dilates.

“Don’t you ever disrespect me. I paid for your high school. I offered to pay for college, but you were too proud to take it. I bought you a car you never drove! I give you a roof, my protection, and this is how you thank me?”

Emris pulls me and I land against his bare chest, face inches from his. There, I force myself to go still so I won’t anger the beast further.

I didn’t accept his gifts because I was sick of feeling like his charity case, a bill he had to pay for the mate he never wanted.

“Once I'm Alpha, my pups will be in your belly. You'll... be under my protection for life."

He roughs a brand across my waist before palming my back side. There comes the famous grab as he does a little tap-tap-tap taps with ownership. Usually, it would make me blush but this time, I just look at him with tears.

However, Emris doesn’t see tears. He’s cold-blooded, and the worst part is, he’s proud of it.

“As what?” I look up at him from what feels like a million miles below. The one thing I want is for him to claim me as his mate. To look at me and see his equal, his other half, not a constant reminder of how we’re opposites.

Emris just stares back. Of course, he’s going to pretend he doesn’t understand what I’m asking. He’s an expert at that.

“Change that jealous look on your face before I see you again.”

I push his hand away from my waist and instantly feel cold. I walk out of his bedroom.

The moment I step into the moving area of the pack house, I nearly collide with the head chef, whose face is twisted into a scowl that could curdle milk.

“Where have you been?!”

“I, uh… I woke up late.” I quickly answer. My job is only to maintain Emris’s private penthouse, so I have no idea why she’s so furious with me.

“We’re short-staffed. Go help Miss Elena take her bags to her room.” Susan points and my stomach plummets.

There she is. Elena Orient. Emris’ ex-girlfriend.

2

Demetra.

Elena was a part-time cheerleading trainer at Magnus High for a year. It’s the high school I was able to attend because of Emris’s “charity.”

She’s at least four years older than me, and she was that impossibly cool adult all the younger girls, including me, desperately wanted to be. The boys were all secretly in love with her. She had perfect, bouncy blonde waves. Back when I was a gawky, puberty-stricken freshman, I’d daydream about looking like her one day. So yeah, I’m jealous.

Elena Orient comes from a rich family, a powerful pack, and everyone adores her. She’s everything I’m not.

I remember the first time she saw Emris. It was Guardians’ Day. I didn't have anyone to come for me, but he showed up. He was there for his sister, Teddy but I’ll never forget the way everyone stared as he walked straight up to me in the crowded hallway.

The next day, Elena actually sought me out to ask me who he was. It was the first time our cheer instructor had ever spoken directly to me. I gave her his name, never imagining that simple answer would lead to them dating. Back then, I didn't care. I wasn't eighteen; the mate bond was silent, and Emris's life was his own.

Now, everything is different.

"Morning.” I say.

Elena finally looks up from her phone. Even at 7 a.m., her blonde hair is bouncy and shiny. Makeup. She’s dressed in designer clothes plus perfumes. She’s obviously hoping to run into Emris, but he’s probably in the middle of his brutal gym session, followed by a wild run through the woods. He won't be back for at least an hour.

"OMG! Demetra, right?"

"Yeah. I should take your bags up—" I reach for one of the bold pink suitcases, but when I try to lift it, it doesn't even budge.

"Did Emris send you to help me?"

What does she think I am, his personal messenger?

"Does he know I'm here already?"

"No, Miss Elena." I reposition myself to wrestle with the luggage again.

"Where is he? Still sleeping? Is he awake?"

I give the stubborn bag a hard yank.

"Can you give me an answer!?" There comes her irritation. I’d almost forgotten that behind that smile, she wears a lot of masks and her true personality is just plain evil.

"I'm not sure, Miss Elena—"

"Then, what use are you?"

I pull the bag with all my might, and this time, it sends me backward. I lose my balance and crash to the floor just as Luna Derisha walks in with another guest. Oh no.

“Elena, why are your luggage not taken yet!?” Luna Derisha’s asks.

I get up quickly.

“This weak omega—”

Luna Derisha’s eyes narrow on me but she forces a smile for the guest. Elena’s mother, who’s watching the entire scene.

“I’m sorry, Luna.” I step back. I know better than to be within arm’s reach when she’s like this; her slaps are swift.

“Wow, her hair is so beautiful. She is such a beautiful young woman.”

I see the muscle in Luna Derisha’s jaw twitch as the woman complements me. She hates any reminder of my mother, and my looks are the biggest reminder of all.

Thankfully, Luna Derisha’s drivers come in and effortlessly haul the luggage away.

“Luna, the tables are ready.” the head housekeeper announces.

The moment they’re out of earshot, Luna Derisha turns on me. “I don’t even know your use in this house. All you do is fatten yourself on our food, yet your strength stays the same.”

I stare at the ground. It’s better not to look at her.

“Because of us, the sickly thing your mother gave birth to is growing. Your cream-white hair is getting longer. Your uniform is getting tighter on your body. Your hips are fattening like a whore’s, your…” She shakes her head in disgust. “It’s those same things your mother used to attract the lowest of the lows. Tell me, are you heading down the same path?”

“No, Luna.” I answer quickly.

“Get out of my sight! And did I not ask you to dye that hair black?”

Someone calls Luna Derisha so her attention finally goes away from me. The moment she looks away. I feel a violent surge in my throat and I throw my hand against it.

I don’t know if it’s the humiliation, the stress of the morning, or something else entirely, but I don’t wait to find out. I turn and run across the marble floors until I burst into the empty staff bathroom. I barely make it to the stall before my insides seem to rupture. I vomit and vomit and vomit until my stomach is empty.

Tears are streaming down my face as I stare at myself in the mirror. Why am I vomiting? Is it the oats I ate last night?

And then my brain decides to gives me an answer.

Hey, remember that little monthly thing that ghosted you last month?

Oh no. Oh, Moon Goddess… am I pregnant?

Pregnant with Emris’ child?

___________

I change out of my uniform, into a pair of jeans and a top. I need a pregnancy test. Now. I've been sitting in front of the desk for the past three hours, trying to count days on a calendar, but it's useless.

The problem is Emris. Our schedule last month was basically, all sex. In his room, in mine, sometimes in a skyscraper hotel suite when his late-night meetings with the jet company ran long. Today is the 20th. No sign of my period. That can only mean one thing.

We used protection… sometimes. When he remembered. Emris gets so lost in the claiming in a way that makes it impossible for either of us to think straight.

I go out through the back kitchen, hoping to go unnoticed.

"Where are you going?" Summer, my best friend blocks my path and shoves her hands into her flour-dusted apron, looking less like my ride-or-die and more like a very suspicious, pastry-based bouncer.

"Luna Derisha is on a warpath today. So lucky you only answer to Emris. What's going on with you?"

"Uh, I just have to run an errand—"

"Ugh, don't even get me started. That Elena is such a snob. She brought thirty boxes of Louboutin, Chanel and had the nerve to ask if we'd ever touched anything like that. Please tell me a bitch like that isn't going to be our next Luna."

"Summer, if anyone hears you, you're going to lose your job." Paxton warns, he’s the assistant chef.

"She's not wrong. Riley is arranging Elena’s closet right now. There are, like, a hundred pairs." Someone else says.

"Guys, I really have to go." I try to sidestep them.

But Paxton places a hand around my stomach region to stop me. He's always been overly concerned about me.

"Are you okay? You look a bit…pale."

Before I can answer, my eyes do a casual sweep past his shoulder to the kitchen's large glass windows.

And I freeze.

Emris is there, a million-foot tall on the gravel, making a phone call in his stuntman stature. He’s staring straight at us. Specifically, at Paxton’s hand, which is currently resting on the exact location of his potential future heir.

For his own safety, and to prevent a murder in the parking lot, I crank up a smile.

"I'm fine, Pax! Really. Just a quick trip into town. I’ll be back soon.”

I hurry out to the gardens but a text lights up my phone from Emris. Just one word: Garage. I knew he wouldn’t let what he saw slide.

His private garage is dim and it’s the first time we'd met here. The car Emris is in is a black Bentley that cost more than my life. With blue interior lights that make him a villain of a sci-fi movie.

Emris unfolds himself from the seat.

“You’re gonna use that nobody to make me jealous!”

He has the most devastatingly handsome face I’ve ever seen. Skin like rich gold, messy black hair that looks better the more he runs his hands through it.

He’s taller and stronger than any man I’ve ever known. I’ve felt the raw power in his thighs when they move under me, I’ve listened to the steady beat of his heart against my chest. It’s the universe’s cruellest joke that a voice so rough and harsh comes attached to a mouth that gives the softest kisses.

“That’s not what I was doing.”

“What was he about to touch?”

“Emris, Paxton is just my friend. I’ve told you this over and over… he’s just looking out for me.”

He rises to his full, ridiculous height. A skyscraper of a jealous Alpha he will soon become. I am forced to step back until I bump into another of his cars. He’s jealous. And when he’s jealous, he’s less a man and more a walking, talking grenade with the pin already pulled.

“Looking out for you?” He tilts his neck in that specific way he does, a gesture that shows the tattoos on his throat and across his collarbones. I know they travel all the way down to his waist. I’ve traced them with my fingers before.

“Because I don’t do enough looking out for you already!?”

“Someone could see us. I should go—”

“Get in.”

I just stare at him in surprise. Emris has never, ever let me in the same car as him before, especially not while we're on pack grounds. This is breaking like twelve of his own rules.

“If someone sees—”

He drags me to the passenger side and pushes me in.

3

Demetra.

A moment later, he’s driving us smoothly away from the pack house, and I melt into the leather chair.

“Where?”

“Huh?”

Emris hisses. “Where are you going? Don’t piss me off, Demetra.”

“The, um… to the store.”

“What could you possibly want from the store that you cannot get at the pack house!?”

“Some hygiene products.” I squeakily lie. “And a new bra.”

When we get to the shopping mall, his phone rings. Thank god, a distraction. He throws a black credit card at me without even looking, and I take it. I only accept because refusing would be a whole thing and I need him to be distracted.

I go straight to the pharmacy section. My hands are literally shaking as I grab the test. I pay with my own cash and buy two, just to be sure. I also snag a random, overpriced bra I don’t need as my decoy.

I lock myself in a bathroom stall and after ten minutes, my eyes instantly water when both tests show the result. Two pink lines. Two. I stare at myself in the mirror over the sink, looking again and again and again, as if my reflection will have a different answer.

I’m pregnant.

I’m pregnant with Emris’s child.

I wipe the tears away, only for more to fall. It’s positive. Both tests are undeniably, life-falteringly positive. I stumble out of the stall and mumble an apology to the annoyed women waiting in line.

I rush to the counter to pay for the bra, hastily wiping my cheeks and glancing out the mall to see if Emris is still in the car. My hands are shaking so badly I fumble the card, dropping it twice. As I turn from the counter, I bump hard into an older man and it sends my shopping bag and Emris's black credit card to the floor.

"I'm so sorry!" I get to my knees to gather my things.

The man bends down too and picks up the card. "Here you go—"

"Thanks. I am so sorry, sir!" I repeat until he doesn't let go. I look up and see him staring at me with an expression of shock, so intense that the card in his hand actually trembles.

"Sir…?" I try to pull it back.

"What is your name?" he asks. "You look familiar. What pack are you from?"

"Sir, please. I'm in a hurry." I finally manage to tug the card from his fingers but the encounter is far from over.

"Alpha?"

I look up to see a guy who must be a million inches tall, built like a valley, standing behind the older man. Did he just call him... Alpha?

The older man ignores his guard or is it his Beta to continue staring at me.

"You have white hair. You….you have white hair.”

Why’s he looking at me like he's seen a ghost. Yes, I have white hair and so? My mind is reeling from the pregnancy tests, and now this? Will Emris accept the pregnancy? Will Emris be happy when I tell him? Will Luna Derisha kill me when she finds out I’ve been sleeping with her son? The future heir of the pack.

The Beta speaks. "Alpha, you don't think she is—"

“Please, have my business card.” The older man presses an embossed card into my hand but I don’t take it.

“Sir, I don’t understand what you are saying or doing—”

“I am searching for my daughter. She has white hair, just like…”

“I am not your daughter!”

A father is the last thing I have or need on this earth.

“Dad?” Another young man, handsome and well-dressed, walks up, addressing the older man. The moment his eyes land on me, his jaw goes slack.

While I’m distracted by the son’s stunned reaction, the older man quickly slips his business card into the palm of my hand and closes my fingers around it. And at that exact moment, Emris enters.

One look at his eyes and I know I’m in deep, deep trouble.

“You.” Emris voice makes everyone look in our direction.

I rush to the side of the living temptress I call my mate, thinking he’s furious with me, but his eyes are on the group of men.

“Emris, son of Alpha Kael.” the older man says. “I haven't seen you since your father’s death—”

“Don’t start with me, old foolish man!” My mate hisses.

The son of the older man comes close. “It’s me you hate, Emris. Leave my father out of it. After all, only one of us still has a father left.”

The male insults the devastating storm that is my Alpha and walks out the door. The older man follows, and the hefty Beta is the last to exit.

“Everyone. Leave.” Emris’s voice isn’t loud, but the store employees and customers run for the exits. Including the owner of the establishment. I don’t think there’s a soul in West Virginia who doesn’t know who Emris is, or the danger that radiates from him.

As soon as everyone leaves, I start to explain.

“I’m sorry I took so long. My… my stuff fell and—”

“First, you throw that puppy, Paxton, in my face. And now I find you cozying up to that dying old man Ronin and his waste-of-space son, Slade. Are you seriously this desperate for attention, or just profoundly stupid?”

My eyes widen in genuine shock. That was Slade? The rival Alpha Emris has hated since they were boys? The one from the Lion Pride pack?

“I swear, Emris, I didn’t know—”

I don’t get to finish when kicks a nearby display, sending a whole aisle of canned goods to the floor.

“Why are you doing this!?” I clamp my hands over my ears.

“Why am I doing this!?” He kicks another shelf which topples like dominoes, scattering products everywhere before he storms back to me.

“I saw him slip you his card. What’s your price, Demetra? Huh? Was my bed not enough of a platform for you to audition for your next role? Are you planning to be Slade’s new step-mom or Slade’s little whore? After acting so damn pure with me, refusing the things I try to give you… you come here to meet with Slade? To become his whore, just like you are to me?”

Emris’ words don’t just hurt. They dissolve me. The heat behind my eyes instantly melts into tears that stream down my face.

“W-whore? You are the only person I have ever been with!”

“Then what do you call a person who is available for me to use morning and night? A convenience. You clean up my messes and warm my bed. I didn't call you anything you haven't proven yourself to be. Now, take whatever pathetic offer that old man gave you and get the hell out of my life forever.”

Emris turns to leave but I run after him, furious tears blinding me as I throw my arms around his back like an idiot.

“How can you call me that!?” I weep on his shirt.

Emris pries my hands off with cold strength. “I saw it with my own eyes. I saw the interaction—”

“I tried so hard! I refused your gifts, your money… I did everything I could so you would never, ever look at me that way! But at the end of the day, this is what you think of me? You have no heart, Emris. You are dark. You are…” I gasp for air as the insult dies on my tongue.

“I am Alpha! My father is dead and I will be Alpha soon. If you’re still in my territory when I formalize my title, I will personally escort you down the Walk of Judgment. I’ll make sure the entire pack knows exactly what you are.”

The Walk of Judgment is a nightmare. A walk of shame where the pack forces you out while throwing filth at you, sometimes tearing the clothes from your back. It’s the ultimate disgrace before being cast out to become a rogue.

And he just threatened me with it.

I force Emris to face me again. “It’s me, Demetra! Why are you acting this way? It was a misunderstanding! I didn’t know that was Slade! I didn’t know who they were!”

“And he gave you a card. You might be naive enough to believe that was a coincidence, but I’m not, Demetra. So much for loyalty. How long has this been going on? How long have you been spreading your legs for Slade? Or is the old man getting a turn, too?”

Emris insults are too much so I slap him! His head snaps to the side. Once I do that, there is only the sound of his breathing. His chest begins to rise, and rise, and rise so I move away.

“We’re done.” Emris storms out. I watch through the glassed door as he speaks to the mall owner before getting into his car and speeding away, leaving me in the wreckage.